The best male bum Christmas award

Too bad, I'd sullied the team's reputation.

Too bad, I’d sullied the team’s reputation.

Comments about this post on ABC Open 500 words – I broke it.

Soon after I started as a new comer in the team, I received an email invitation for an SWB lunch. I didn’t know what SWB meant and was told it stood for “Secret Women’s Business”. The word “secret” made me feel uneasy about attending the lunch so I didn’t go. I wasn’t invited to any SWB lunch afterwards.

In the team, I heard many lusting as well as belittling remarks made by female colleagues on young attractive male team members and the fact that they are blond. Listening to those remarks, I came to the conclusion that blond men must be perceived as attractive yet stupid by these women.

Walking around the team, people could see pictures of half-naked men and exotic male dancers in their underwear scattered on the workstation walls of several female colleagues. As sexual appetite and sexual appeal are often mentioned in newspapers and magazines, I told myself that those women must want to tell the world that they are healthy with sexual desires for those sexually alluring men by displaying their pictures.

On the birthday of the married male section head, dozens of pink balloons were inflated while the top ends of those balloons were pinched thus making them look like breasts with nipples. The most socially active female team members then stuck those balloons around the section head’s office door. Team members giggled when the birthday man had to squeeze himself through to get into his office while those “breasts” brushed against his face. The birthday man blushed but smiled and seemed to enjoy the tease. Every time I recall this birthday scene, I feel embarrassed by the blunt titillating joke those women played.

At the team Christmas party, after the meal, the cheeky party organiser went to the stage to announce that she would be giving out a prize for a person but first she would call out names and those that would be called would have to come up to the stage and do a walk in front of us all. All the male colleagues were called to the stage. The team had fun watching the men. Those who were clumsy, anxious on the walk or refused to do the walk were all then instructed insistently to do the proper walk. The team bursted out laughing when the organiser declared that a tall blond handsome man in his 20s had won the award for “The male with the best bum” in the team. I didn’t know if there was any complaint from those “involuntary male contestants” after the party. Before that party, I didn’t have a clue that male backside could attract some sexual interest.

The team also had moments watching a male stripper perform at a middle-aged female team member’s birthday. After leaving the team, when discussing fun activities to be arranged at my new team’s Christmas party, I shared with my new team members what happened at my old team’s Christmas party; some of them were amused while some felt disgusted.

Not long after that, I needed a work reference from a high-ranking member of my old team. It was too bad as she told me that she had been informed that I had badmouthed my old team and that I had sullied the team’s reputation. Well, by telling the truth, I had also sullied my own chance of getting a good reference from her. In addition, I had broken my workplace connection with those particular female colleagues of my old team who were daring, flirty, sexually intertested and impish in their behaviour.

Male pec and male bum,
Kill off the boredom,

Blonde men are awesome,
Though they may be dumb,
Oh hecks!

Their acts are loathsome,
They make people glum,
(Lai-style poem)

Image credit
by tiffany terry.

Too bad, I'd sullied the team's reputation.

Too bad, I’d sullied the team’s reputation.

3 thoughts on “The best male bum Christmas award

  1. Well, it did put a smile on my face. Nothing like “liberated” women, giving the male species a taste of their own medicine.

    On a serious note, you either like it, or you don’t. There is no middle ground. It happens in all work places, & beyond. Striking a balance, seams to be the most difficult: How to remain true to your moralistic values, & at the same time, not be victimised unfairly.

    This is the classic scenario that exemplifies & subverts the old saying “truth will set you free”. Sometimes, you gotta shut your mouth, & go with the flow, & take the first exit, with a good reference.


  2. It is very amusing (that the flirty girls had a go at the male) but it sounds terrible at the same time. I agree with Jane – not a place to work in. I have been in a few work places where sex and related activity goes on – it is so unprofessional and yet if you don’t go along with the “fun”, you don’t fit.


  3. Makes me wonder whether the flirty girls are just trying to show the men who’s boss by being vulgar and sexist (like so many men have been in the past and some still are). But in turning the tables they seem to have become very nasty bullies. What a bad workplace culture!


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